I could never make up my mind – then it was too late.

I'm so worried about what I might be doing to a young person in the way Fin inter-relating to them, i.e. I'm socialising them wrong, or putting propaganda forward, or not loving them enough, that I stay away. I see myself as a failure even before I've started.

The only person's children I really wanted was female – and you can't have a baby that way.

It's important to raise children to see all the alternatives, different lifestyles from marriage and family, so they can make their own choice.

I've been wanting a child for years but haven't been in a situation where I've felt it would be right – I couldn't live in a 'nuclear family' so it would have to be living communally or on my own with a network of support – I would really be into taking equal responsibility for a number of children with a number of adults, but I haven't found anyone into it yet. Fin still looking.

I don't hate children. I think I'm scared of then, like wimmin. I don't know how to approach them, how to open myself up properly. I think they sense this.

People are so afraid of gays influencing 'their' children – what about heterosexual influence?! Pah!

Unspoilt children are as good company as you'll get. I don't see children at till as a subspecies. I take them entirely as I take adults. The world is no more or less theirs. If you take a child around a town for a day, you'll see how severely children are discriminated against; there are barely any facilities for them, in a world which 'cherishes' them.

I want to have a child within the next year. So does my male lover. It's going to be really hard to stop ourselves being related to as 'just another heterosexual nuclear family'. I need the support of the bisexual community to avoid this trap – luckily it seems forthcoming!

I had a vasectomy because I was scared of the power I might dream up if I was a biological father, like my mum had over me.

It's been such a gift fathering a child – though I don't feel I want or need another. We've been together a lot, right through his birth and ever since – 5 1/2 years. I've always enjoyed children – play, creativity, energy – and at one time with my work too. And I've learnt so much about myself – my limits, priorities, taking care of myself – as much from times feeling overwhelmed in my son's early years as from being with his present moment aliveness. I feel so much clearer and stronger now – being a father has helped me complete and heal much of my childhood and non-relationship with my own father.

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